Bunker Hunker

Is it safe to come out yet? I've been hunkered in my bunker the past week or so, waiting for another 9/11-styled terror attack. In trying to get past my paranoid fears, the one thing that has kept me going has been my faith and trust in our wonderful President, George W. Bush. He is standing tall atop the ramparts of freedom, staring down those crazy Islamofascists.

If I was one of those Islamofascists*, I'd be shaking in my pointy-toed shoes and burnoose to know that the United States has a leader like George W., who is ready, willing and able to send the best of the country's young men and women to fight and die, get blown up or shot, horribly maimed, have their lives and their families' lives ruined, all for that ideal of freedom for all humankind.

That makes me sit down in my basement bunker feeling pretty secure, lemme tellya.

I also like the way our leader has no qualms about invoking the images and remembrance of 9/11 to further political advances for his political party. I mean, here's a man who, despite liberal dissing, is a conservationist, because he knows when to combine topics. He can tie two things together, saving his voice, and ultimately global warming from his oral exhalations, by bringing up the fact that the Muslim world hates us and wants us to die--horribly--and that if Democrats are elected our enemies will be streaming across the border like the entire Latin populations of Mexico, Central and South America are now doing!

Needless to say, during this past solemn occasion of the 9/11 anniversary, it is not necessary for our great leader to mention also that our economy is in ruins, the rich are getting filthily richer, millions of Americans have no health care, we're spending a billion a day on a war that can't be won, illegals are flooding our country and overwhelming our social systems, and most of us are counting the days until January 21, 2009, when he's out of office…

…he's there now, daring those enemies of freedom and truth. Using other people to do his fighting, mind you, but that's what great leaders do, isn't it?

God bless George W. Bush, and God bless the United States of America.

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*Islamofascist sounds more like a medical condition, like plantar fasciitis.

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While in my bunker I had a chance to look at some old magazines. (Amazing how the topics in my blog can jump around, isn't it?) A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were in a mall, and noticed the windows of The Gap. There was Audrey Hepburn, jumping up and down in a couple of great old photos. Both Sally and I agree, they just don't make stars like Audrey anymore. With all respect to Scarlett Johanssen, who I love, in the days that Audrey Hepburn was a major star, the stars had real fabulous faces: I'm thinking of Grace Kelly, Marilyn Monroe, as well as Audrey.

I found this old Town and Country magazine from 2003. Even years after her death, Audrey could still be counted on to sell some magazines. Is that a face, I ask you. Is that a face?!

Ciao for now, El Postino