Tuesday, December 08, 2009

People of Freakmart

I was led to the People of Walmart website, and after spending a couple of hours going through the archives I have a couple of thoughts:

1. Thank god none of those pictures is of me. How would you feel if someone called you up and told you, gleefully, "I saw you on People of Walmart!"

2. We all need to feel superior to someone, but some of the folks pictured look like they need our help, not our sarcasm and derision.

3. Who are the folks who can just upload this sort of voyeurism and not expect repercussions? If I ended up on this site I'd be in a lawyer's office discussing how much I could expect to make from a lawsuit.

Having said all that, I'll climb off my high horse and admit, yeah, I found some of the photos more than interesting. I'm showing a few, especially the ones I found from my home state of Utah.

I'm not sure any of these people shop at my local Walmart store, but I'll keep my eyes open, especially for the young girl in the rabbit fur leg warmers and bikini bottom.

This is a picture I found fascinating. My first thought at seeing it was, "That's M.S.!" M.S. was a coworker of mine; we all hated the guy because he was a brown-noser and got away with murder. After seeing the picture I drove to my former jobsite and talked to a couple of the guys who shared my opinion of M.S. I asked, "Ever seen People of Walmart? One guy said, "You mean the one with M.S.'s picture?" He'd already seen it. We looked it up on the office computer and chortled about it. The frilly socks are just too-too, if you know what I mean.

After I got home I looked at it again and reluctantly decided it's not M.S. Not that I wouldn't give anything to have it be him, but there's a certain shape to the profile that just doesn't ring true. We worked with the guy for five or six years and he's distinctive enough I'd be able to recognize him anywhere, so I had to conclude it wasn't him in the picture. Sure looks like him though, enough that it nearly succeeded in fooling me.

The following people are not from Utah. I just want you to know that.

There is an implied warning with the People of Walmart website: make sure you don't dress down to go to Walmart.

I notice they really like pictures of morbidly obese people, especially wearing clothing inappropriate for their size. If you go to Walmart put something over your bikini. They like pictures of obese people showing the cracks of their asses. Don't bend over in Walmart.

If there's a guy behind you fussing with his cellphone you can figure he might be taking your picture. Stare at him until he gets uncomfortable and goes away, and make sure he doesn't sneak up on you later.

They like pictures of people with hostile or obscene messages on their clothing. I'll bet this guy gets a lot of dates. Not.

Women, do not expose your back boobs. Of all the sights no one wants to see, that tops the list.


Anonymous said...

I too have problems with that site. It seemed needlessly cruel, but then I decided the idiots in bad t-shirts (all mine are tasteful of course :-) probably like having their pictures posted.....

And then I saw the "back boobs" and fell off my own high horse too *ouch* broke one of my ribs....

El Postino said...

I believe that people who parade in such regalia are exhibitionists or making some sort of statement, but it shows something in their psychological makeup that--to me, at least--indicates something off in their personality.

The back boobs should definitely not be exposed to an unsuspecting public.

Mykal said...

Those back boobs are very frightening. How can you not stare at them? I see the boyfriend's right there. What's he gonna say? "Stop staring at my girl's back boobs?" -- Mykal