Tidiots

Bonnie is a secretary at one of the elementary schools I visit on my daily service route through the school district. She sits at the end of a long cubicle. The counter covers her so when I walk in the door I see only her head. I can always tell what she's wearing, though, because of the number of men hanging around her. Bonnie has an ordinary face, usually wears no make-up--she's kind of an outdoor type in that way--has straight dull-looking hair, but she's a buxom woman, and her mammoth mammaries are why the guys are hanging around.

The fashion of showing cleavage has done wonders for girls who never got male attention before, hasn't it? Despite her shortcomings above her shoulders, Bonnie gets her share of attention directly below. She and her husband are into fitness, proud of their bodies, so when it comes to her boobs the title of the old song says it all, "Let It All Hang Out."

Whenever I need Bonnie to sign for anything I'm bringing, I see her hey-look-at-me hooters. I use the technique I've described here, where I take a mental snapshot and "look" at it later. Some guys are better at it than others. Some guys, eyeballs bulging out of their skulls, aren't even pretending not to look. Their thoughts aren't hard to read: If Bonnie's cleavage was a swimming pool they'd dive in. I've come up with a name for people who act like this: tidiots.

I don't mind women and girls going with the fashion and showing us boys some skin and cleavage. We appreciate it, we really do. I've seen a lot of it in person, and I've seen a lot of it on the Internet. Photo hosting programs like Flickr, Blogger and Photobucket allow us to peer into peoples' private photo albums. There are a lot of self portraits in these albums, women and girls who take their own pictures in the mirror or by holding their camera phones or digital cameras at arm's length. Someone should make a collection of these pictures and publish them. It's a sort of cultural phenom that is slipping under the radar of the folks who look for trends.

I've put digital pasties on a few of the pictures, and have just a word of advice for the gals who are sharing their pictures with us: don't ever run for public office. This stuff will live somewhere forever.