Thursday, July 21, 2011
The Baghdad booty with the looey on duty
Imagine this: a perfect stranger, an Army lieutenant no less, has offered me 20% of ten million dollars just to help provide his stolen Baghdad booty a hiding place in the U.S.!
I have a proposal for you, my name is Lieutenant John D. Bromfield, a US
Army [sic] serving in the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq. I want you to read this
mail carefully and understand it.
In 2003, I and my men found over $600 million in Saddam Hussein's hideout
in Baghdad, we sent some back to the Iraq government after counting it in
a classified location, but we also kept some behind for ourselves. Some of
the money we shared among ourselves worth over $200million, and I have
kept mine for a while here in a very secured place since then, just like
many others, but now our new president Obama is making plans on pulling us
out of Iraq, right now we have left the major cities of Iraq.
So I need someone that is not related to me, to help me pull this cash
out, everything is ready, I just need someone I can trust because we have
lost a box of gold to someone that said he will help us last time and I
won't like to make the same mistake, the total amount of money I am trying
to move out is $10million. You can view the link below to verify my
If you can handle this deal let me know immediately, you will receive 20%
of the money, all you need do is to find a safe place where you can keep
the box till we leave Iraq. Get back to me immediately.
Lieutenant John D. Bromfield
Private mail: email@example.com
From the link Lt John Bromfield provided:
Stash of money found in Baghdad
“Last week, US troops found more than $650m in the same area of Baghdad.
The money had been hidden behind the false wall of a house searched by US troops. It is thought the stash could have been left by fleeing regime leaders.
Five US soldiers are currently being questioned by military officials after some of that money was allegedly stolen following its discovery.” BBC News, April 30, 2003
There was stolen money in Iraq, the BBC said so. It's true. Lieutenant Bromfield is not lying to me. Oh happy day. Twenty percent of 10 million is two mil. Wow, what I couldn’t do with that. I just have to provide a good hiding place. Imagine the sight of me rubbing my hands together in glee, chuckling over my good fortune.
Oh second thought, nahhhh. I don’t have any good hiding places. What would I do, dig a hole in my back yard? And that's only if I actually received the cash, which would have to be shipped to me. Lt. Bromfield doesn't indicate how he plans to do that.
I’m no crook, and have a fear of being locked up. I’m too old to go to prison, even for two million dollars. I visualize getting caught. When the FBI and Army CID came crashing through my door I’d sing like Frank Sinatra. I’d implicate Lt. Bromfield, and then I’d point out where I hid the loot.
I guess that little dream bubble of instant wealth just popped.
Now that the excitement has worn off, I have re-read Lt. Bromfield's note to me, and smell something like really old cheese. I see him refer to “our new President Obama pulling us out of Iraq.” Aha. Obama has been in office 2 ½ years. That makes him not new anymore, and while originally all troops were scheduled to be out of Iraq by the end of 2011, that's been stalled. There are currently about 47,000 still in country, down from a high of about 184,000 at its peak.
So here’s a note of my own to anyone who is interested in tracking down the missing cash from Saddam’s stash: contact Lieutenant John Bromfield of the Third Infantry Division. He was good enough to leave an e-mail address.
I can't help you, looey, but write back in 25 years when you're out of federal prison.