Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Part-time Polygamist Wife Wanted
My wife is pet sitting for her chiropractor. She'll be staying at her house four days.
Last week she came home after an 11-day pet sit for her brother and his wife. I don't take care of myself very well. I need my own pet sitter, and that's why she agreed I need a spare wife. It's not such a bad idea, really. When I announced it she took to it better than I thought, especially when I promised while looking for said spare wife I would emphasize a need to cook and clean, two things I do not do at all well.
So I put out this ad on craigslist: WANTED: Part-time polygamist wife. Must be able to take care of middle-aged husband by cooking and cleaning while Wife #1 is away. Picture a must.
I got some quick responses, but some of the candidates aren't women I'd pick, so I thought I'd put it up to you folks. Do you think any of these gals should be Mrs. Postino #2? You can click on the pictures for full-size images.
When Molene answered my ad she said, "I'm a lot of fun in bed." I thought, "Yeah, tons of fun."Talk about someone who loves her licker! Errrrr, I mean liquor. Jackie Daniels said she loves to cook and has a lot of recipes for cooking with bourbon.HONK! TWEET! WOW! When I got this picture of Vava Varoom I thought, "Call her right away!" But then she sent another picture, saying the first picture was older, and had been taken before she had Botox treatments. The picture on the right is Vava now, who says, "I would like to crank your throttle."Ulp! I was really caught off guard by the picture from Galaxtina, who said, "My cooking is out of this world." As are you, Galaxtina. And maybe you should go back to whatever world it is you come from.The lovely Brutella said to me, "I run a very orderly house. Discipline is important to me. No one must deviate from my rules. No one, including you...or Brutella will punish."
Finally, Zelda said in her reply to my ad, "You and I may have more in common than you think." My response to that would be, "Yeah, like hairy backs and testosterone."
Whew. Some choices, but then, when looking for a polygamist wife, the pool of potential candidates is not large.