No more pencils, no more books...

It's hard to believe it's the last day of school. Again.

I had 12 years of last days when I went to public school, and then 32 of them when I worked for the school district. I never got used to that day because it was always so hectic. I don't know who was happier for the kids to go home, the kids or the teachers. I suspect the latter.

Kids have an idea that it's going to be a real fun summer, full of swimming, biking, games, activities, even a summer vacation with mom and dad. Yippee. I used to think that, too. I probably got it from watching "Spin and Marty" on The Mickey Mouse Club. Those boys were at a summer camp where they rode horses and did fun things, even solved mysteries. What usually happened was that my friends would go out of town or they'd live too far away to play with them, so I'd end up sitting in the house watching TV or reading comic books like Little Lulu and Tubby At Summer Camp, and live my life vicariously with imaginary friends. It's been ever thus.

I dreaded the last week of school because the kids were so hyper. The little kids can be distracted by field trips and activities, but the junior high kids are full of mischief. I had to watch out I didn't get bombed by shaving cream on the last day. The high school kids are dangerous. They're driving, talking or texting on their cell phones, and generally not paying attention.

Even the faculty can be out of control. One year I drove into the parking lot of a school and the principal, who was standing by the entrance to the lot, shot me in the face with a high pressure water pistol. Right in the face. I came this close--picture my thumb and index finger about 1/8" apart--to turning him in but I got talked out of it. I'm still pissed off about it, though, even ten years later.

The school secretaries will be in the buildings for a couple more weeks closing out the books.

One of my teacher friends is heading out with her family tomorrow morning. If you went to our airport tomorrow half the people there would be kids or educators heading out of town.

This is the first year since 1976 I've missed a last day of school. I had a notion to drop in at one of the schools on my former route just to relive some of the experience, but naw...I've already been there, done that.

What your teacher would like you to think about this summer: